Everyone has seen the modern Spiderman films, right? If you’ve answered no you’re probably related to the clam and dwell on the seabed having nothing more to do than filter shite and wait for the inevitable scoop that puts you into someone’s soup. However, if you’ve answered yes, you’ll know that the Marvel comic super-villain has one of the coolest looking outfits/suits/armour exoskeletons that has ever been conceived and, if not, have a few moments on Googlefacewitter to refresh yourself.
By now you’re probably rubbing various itchy parts of your body thinking I’m away having an acid party with the fairies because what the fook has this all got to do with the H2, right? And I really can’t blame you, but bear with me please. You see the Kawasaki H2 is one of the most dramatically designed motorcycles, EVER, and once you’ve absorbed the amazing chrome paint and metallic green frame that tints the rest of the bike in an eerie shade of, er, green, you might, like me, wonder who came up with such an incomparable display of colour. And, therefore, I believe that Kawasaki’s H2 designer is without doubt a huge fan of Mr. G Goblin. If I bought one of these missiles I would without doubt have a suit of some kind made that replicates the Goblin’s outfit and a painted helmet to match, see where I’m tripping from now? Perhaps Kawasaki should put a Green Goblin clothing range in their catalogue of H2 accessories?
Well maybe not, but that’s what I’d like to wear after spending a whole week with the incredible H2. Yes, you heard correctly, not a day or two, but a whole week in the real world of highways and public roads and not being confused by a smooth racetrack environment.
Get on with it then, I hear you say. Right then, the H2 has had more articles published than Zuma already so I don’t want to rattle on about what it does technically, etc, etc, so I won’t, besides the supercharger of course. Anyone know the difference between a turbo and supercharger, which no one seems to have mentioned? A lot of you do but if you don’t a supercharger is basically mechanically driven and a turbo is spun around by the exiting exhaust gases. So, as a rule, superchargers give instant boost from zero throttle and a turbo only “wakes up” when the exhaust pressure and pulses rise, which is why top fuel dragsters prefer the supercharger for instant boost and an F1 car gets into its stride once it’s moving, got it?
The H2 is most certainly supercharged because nothing can prepare you, or anyone else, for the devastating drive in first gear! The H2 will leave anything behind in the motorcycle world with its mouth open like a startled gold fish, and the rider too. Just dial in a few thousand rpm, dump the clutch (if you dare), and be prepared to feel yourself accelerating like a big beetle that some evil kid has just found, cornered, and then launched from his oversized catapult. This “moon launch” effect doesn’t really stop throughout the next five gears either until you abruptly arrive at the 299 km/h restricted limit in an uncanny mind numbing sense that you’ve been mechanically raped.
Once you’ve calmed yourself down, after pretending and believing you work for NASA, you can then go back to spending many hours walking around the H2 and revel in its outrageous build quality and finish. Every nut and bolt is exemplary, nothing like I’ve ever experienced from Kawasaki in the past and I therefore believe that the H2 is worth its R310,000 asking price. It’s no GP bike replica though, if you’re looking for that buy the new R1, but it is without doubt the Buggati Veyron of the motorcycle world, if you know what I mean? The H2 steers relatively slowly compared to purposely designed track machines and it’s not too light either at 238kg but that “track scenario” isn’t what this bike is really about, is it?
It has been on a dyno in SA already, unfortunately not ours, and it makes 186hp at the wheel and just below 130Nm of torque. That means 18hp more than a ZX-10, 6-8hp more than a ZX-14 which has a 45% bigger motor, and 30% more torque than a ZX-10 with the same sized engine, see what the supercharger does now? And don’t forget torque basically relates to acceleration and horsepower equates more to top speed, so the H2’s forced-induction supercharger has most certainly worked, and it makes the most addictive chattering noise when you shut off, again like no other motorcycle in the world.
So, any faults after a week with it you ask? Yes, a few, and I’ll have to honestly answer. My neck feels like I’ve been dating a woodpecker (but I am at that aging beautifully stage now), it drinks fuel (who cares), the fuelling is out low down (who cares), it stalls if you don’t let it settle after a big boost session (who cares), the quick-shifter isn’t as refined as I’d like (who cares), and you’re forever having to wipe greasy finger prints from the mesmerising paintwork with a cloth, like when someone “fingers” your sunglasses or helmet visor, which I did care about because it annoyed me more than two flies up each nostril. But everything that I’ve mentioned is insignificant compared to that ridiculous power plant underneath you, so there, irrelevant moan abolished.
My week with the H2 was and is a memorable one for sure, if not a little exhausting when you ride the thing fast all the time, which we can only really do in sunny South Africa, right, so a big “suck this” goes out to the rest of the world. The H2 is a massive ‘fook you’ to the rest of the motorcycling world as well and all other manufacturers are now labelled with making “boring and conventional” rides no matter how you think. I love what Kawasaki has done in our unstable economic world and the H2 can only entice equally game-changing bikes from the “others” and about time too.
So if the Green Goblin happens to get knocked off his ‘sky-sledge’ in the next Marvel epic, by the man in the red/blue suit, he needn’t be worried anymore. Just hop onto a Kawasaki H2 my green-faced friend fit a few missiles and machine guns and that cheeky web-slinger will never catch or interfere with you again, ever, that’s for sure!
available from Fourways Motorcycles
Telephone:011 465 1540
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And, www.kawasaki.co.za
